My Resume

My Resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. Now I just sit at home and post silly things to my BLOG!


How did I know when it was time to move on???


Ten Ways to Know It's Time to Go
A Job-Change Checklist
By Caroline Levchuck

No matter how much you love your job, you may not love it all the time. Folks with the most fulfilling of professions can still find themselves battling a case of the "Sunday Night Blues." And, from time to time, we may all feel a sense of disenchantment with our employer or our co-workers.

But how can you know when it's really time to go? Here's a hint: If more than half of the following statements ring true for you, get your resume ready and start connecting with new opportunities today.

1. You start to dread Monday as soon as you leave work on Friday.

2. It becomes more and more difficult to get up for work each day, and tardiness becomes a way of life.

3. You cannot muster enthusiasm for anything related to work -- other than your paycheck.

4. You spend most of your time complaining to colleagues or about your colleagues.

5. You act defensive and even hostile in company meetings when there's little cause for it.

6. You interact less and less with co-workers, shutting yourself away in your office and avoiding opportunities to socialize.

7. You've used up all your sick, personal, and vacation days -- and the year isn't even half over.

8. You're constantly putting off until tomorrow what you could (and should) do today. When you do actually commit to doing your work, you feel resentful.

9. You're bitter about the company's success or that of a co-worker.

10. You have no professional goals related to your job, and you have a hard time even making some up at your obligatory performance review